If you were to drop onto this planet from, say, Mars-knowing nothing about our culture and using the media as your guide-you'd probably assume that the fathers of our species were pretty stupid.
How else to explain the plethora of dithering dads on TV or why fathers are relegated to the humor or sexuality-after-baby sections of parenting magazines?
It's as though the parenting efforts of fathers are not important enough to portray or discuss seriously-except perhaps once a year, when Dad gets a pat on the head in honor of Fathers Day.
You have to wonder whether this inattention to the needs of fathers, and their importance in children's lives, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: if fathers constantly hear how crummy (or bumbling, or confused) they are at this parenting gig, they're probably going to end-up believing it.
Consider the statistics of divorced dads: according to a research study done by The Ohio State University, only 25% of divorced dads visited their kids once a week. That's the average; the specific breakdown looks, well, like a breakdown: in the first two years after divorce, 43% of dads had contact with their kids; six to 10 years after divorce, that number plummeted to 19%.
This is troubling, given that kids need fathers-tons of research studies have affirmed that dads influence everything from kids' math ability to their ability to stay out of jail.
So how come the only time we hear about the importance of dads is on Fathers Day? Or, from radio talk show hosts, politicians, and others who wield the information like a sword to push a political agenda?
I wish I had the answer.
Fatherhood shouldn't be relegated to humor columns or trotted out once a year to sell magazines. Nor should its significance be the domain of any one political party-good dads come in a variety of political stripes. Highlighting the importance of fatherhood does not negate the importance of moms. Nor does it denigrate single mothers, call for a collective return to the 1950s, or suggest that divorce be outlawed (or that women remain with abusive men for the sake of their children).
Discussing the importance of fatherhood simply brings to light an irrefutable fact: dads are crucial to the lives of their children. And children deserve to have committed, compassionate, involved fathers.
It's about time all of us recognize, encourage, demand and celebrate that.
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