A Mother Again

At age 48, I’m becoming a mother again. 

We’ve known about it for about nine months now, but even before that we’d guessed it would happen at any time. We are very excited.  And this time we know exactly what we’re having: we’re expecting a beautiful, bouncing, 22-year-old boy.

You see, my daughter is getting married.  And that will make me a first time mother — in-law.

The first time I was a first-time mother was about 22 years ago.  I was as clueless and unprepared as I could be.  I really had no idea what motherhood was all about. I never dreamed that such a tiny being could so profoundly affect every single aspect of my life from the moment she was born until today. 

When I first became a Mom, I was young.  At 26, I was fearless, and completely confident in my skills and abilities. I could see a future shining as brightly as the sun. I would be an awesome mother.  I had energy and optimism.  I had creativity and enthusiasm. 

Things are a little different now that I’m becoming a first-time mother-in-law.  At age 48, I am fearful of almost everything—from potential terrorist attacks, to poisoned peanut butter, to how my latest hair color will turn out.  If I ever had any special skills or abilities, I’ve either misplaced them or totally forgotten what they were in the first place. I can still see the future, but now it’s through bifocals, and that just makes me feel a little queasy about everything.  

I’m not worried about the match my daughter has made.  My future son-in-law is a fine young man, apparently raised quite well by his own mother. He is just crazy about my daughter, which goes to show that he is also quite intelligent.

So all that is well and good. But I’m still left wondering just what my role is in this new union.  What is the purpose of a mother-in-law, except to be the butt of jokes? (Which, incidentally, are not all that funny anymore.)

As my children have gotten older, I’ve seen my role change from primary caretaker to primary cheerleader.  I spend less time lecturing and more time listening.  I try to wait to be asked before I jump in with my advice, although I am certainly not always successful in that.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the maturing of my relationship with my daughter, and I have no reason to think that will change.

So I guess I’ll just approach my new role of mother-in-law the same way I did the first time around. I’ll be clueless.  I will make mistakes. I’ll take it one day at a time. I’ll try to listen and to cheer and to love the changes that life inevitably brings.

And if that doesn’t work, I’ll do what I usually do.  I’ll call my mother.