A meeting between you and your child’s teacher can be a powerful tool for helping your child succeed in school. Whether scheduled by the school, requested by you, or suggested by the teacher, such a meeting gives you a platform to learn about your child and to assert her needs. Remember: children learn best when home and school are in agreement on expectations and goals.
Follow these nine guidelines for more productive (and even enjoyable) parent-teacher conferences:
Have a Goal in Mind. Ask yourself ahead of time what a successful outcome for you and your child would be, then plan and work toward that goal.
Come Prepared. Write down your questions ahead of time. Take samples of your child’s work that demonstrate problem areas and/or strengths. Keep track of problem behaviors at home that may be repeating themselves in the classroom.
Listen! Then Respond. Let the teacher speak first, and listen carefully. Take notes on points for which you need clarification or with which you disagree. Respond to the teacher’s concerns, then introduce topics you want to cover.
Ask For Specifics. What is the teacher’s concern? If it is a behavioral problem, at what times and how frequently is it occurring? Ask what an acceptable behavior would look like. If it is an academic concern, ask to see examples of your child’s in-class work.
Request Special Services. Many services are available for children with special needs. Ask for an evaluation if you suspect your child has a learning disability.
Be Firm, but Don’t Threaten. You have a right to assert your point of view, but do so with respect and courtesy. Most teachers care about your child’s success. Politely ask to bring the principal into the discussion if you want, but don’t raise your voice or threaten to have the teacher fired. Being nasty will only distract from your point of view and make it harder to work with the school in the long run.
Avoid Discussion of Other Children. Teachers have legal and ethical reasons why they can’t discuss other children. Information about your child should be kept confidential as well. Respect these practices for everyone’s benefit.
Be Willing to Follow-Up. Ask what you can do at home to supplement what is going on in the classroom, and then do it.
Ask for More Time if Needed. You are entitled to a full discussion and understanding of your child’s progress at school. If the teacher can’t continue right then, set up another appointment at a convenient time. (It may be wise to take a professional advocate with you to the next meeting if you are requesting special services for your child.)
Sharon Nolfi is a school psychologist and mother of grown children whose writing has appeared in publications across North America.
Post new comment