4 Important parenting principles from "A Boy Named Sue"

The other day I was listening to the Johnny Cash song A Boy Named Sue. Listening to this song brought me back to the first time that I heard the song ... which was about 8 years ago (yes I know, I don't get out enough). After hearing the song I proclaimed to my wife that I heard the most wonderful song. I didn't know the name, but I told her the story line of the song. Who knew that years later I would hear the song again and extract four principles that I use to help guide my parenting.

For those of you who don't know it, it goes like this:

1. Father leave's boy and his mother with "Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze."
2. Father names boy "Sue" before he leaves
3. Sue grows up being ridiculed.
4. Sue is determined to find his father and "kill" him for giving him the name "Sue".
5. Sue finds father in bar.
6. Sue announces to Father,, "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do! Now your gonna die!!"
7. Sue and Father have a rough and tumble fight.
8. Father reaches for gun, Sue reaches for gun quicker and the Father just smiles and says: "Son, this world is rough and if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough and I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along. So I give ya that name and I said goodbyeI knew you'd have to get tough or die and it's the name that helped to make you strong."
9. Sue recognizes the reasoning behind his father's actions.
10. They make up and Sue announces that when he has a son he is going to name him, "Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!"

When I told Kim about this, she chuckled at my lack of culture and pointed out to me that this was an old song by Johnny Cash. I knew that I was sheltered, but why was I not introduced to the parenting wisdom of country music before this time.
I love this song for a number of reasons (some of them are obvious). But here is one thing that this song teaches that did not realize until I recently listened to the song again.

1. Often times the most important lessons in life that we have to give our children are the most painful.
2. As children, they don't always understand that these important lessons are difficult--they just see that they are difficult and don't comprehend the value.
3. With age, comes an appreciation for "why" our parents did what they did.
4. When we have children we often times throw away the methods that our parents used, because we think we have found better ways to teach those lessons. Unfortunately, all important lessons require a significant amount of pain.

Each of these aspects of parenting are important to appreciate ... especially number 4. Most of us turned out pretty good and if we look seriously at the scrapes and bruises that we have received in life, if we are honest with ourselves, we realize that much of our success has relied on those experiences.