by Julie Chen Allen
So I have this idea… Some might call it attention deficit, but I call it maximizing time. Or rather, as I’d really like to call it, squeezing more into my life.
For instance, rather than joining a book club, I plan to host a magazine club instead. My magazine club meetings would take place during a 30-minute lunch break or coffee break. If you don’t work with me, I guess you can’t join.
We can discuss the magazine’s book reviews section and talk about how we think they would end if we had enough time to read the entire book. We can also exercise the creative parts of our brain by imagining which actors and actresses have more on-screen chemistry if the book becomes a blockbuster.
We will have someone lead the reading of each club member’s horoscopes, because we know that we can all be more time-efficient if we know to plan for contingencies. Especially if that might include “unplanned surprises from someone you know well” and which might involve romance. Maybe this mysterious individual will take a rain check on romance.
We might round up the gathering by flipping through the fashion spread showing fancy outfits we could never actually wear to a play-date or in which we could attempt a diaper change. Or, for that matter, wear to soccer games, scout troop door-to-door fundraisers, PTA brouhahas, and parent-teacher conferences. That might mean we’ll end up trading the latest bargain gossip, e.g., what was on the clearance rack at Target or Kohl’s again? And did they have my size?
We can even, if time allows, conduct a cost-benefit analysis of purchasing a $50+ lipstick that will very well end up melting in the Texas heat, thereby eliminating the anti-aging, anti-oxidating, wrinkle-erasing, and collagen-plumping effects of that fancy lipstick. Perhaps at a subsequent meeting, we can, instead, evaluate $1 strawberry lip gloss that is non-toxic if swallowed by an infant.
Lastly, we will vote on our next magazine choice based on how well it might withstand the bathroom humidity, since it is unlikely that we will have time to actually read it anywhere else other than during that long-awaited, hard to come by, much coveted hot bath. (Hey, wait a minute, why are you trying to take my article to the potty?)
Anyway, I have looked into magazines-on-tape but haven't found any. Maybe it's just a matter of time.
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