by Julie Chen Allen
I’ve always wondered…
How can it be that two little people who can barely dress themselves create so much laundry in one week? Even without bed-wetting accidents, I am doing about a load a day on a school day, and up to three loads a day on the weekends. As soon as I am done with sorting, folding, and tucking clean laundry away into drawers, the hamper is overflowing again. It’s like a magic cauldron, except the magic is not gold. If I made any more money I would buy an industrial-sized washer and dryer. Hmm, do those come in stackable ruby red?
So one Saturday, I channeled my inner Harriet the Spy and followed the munchkins around the house, trying to figure out the fruitful nature of their laundry habits. My hypothesis was humored by the evidence.
First, they dressed themselves in two layers claiming they were cold. For breakfast, the 2-year-old spilled milk all over his pants. When the 5-year-old tried to be helpful and clean up the spill on the floor, he got his socks and pants wet as well.
Up they went to their room to change into brand-new outfits. However, as they were changing it suddenly occurred to them that they would look like sports mascots if they added shorts on top of their pants, and socks to their hands. But with socks in their hands, the boys had some trouble while going to the restroom. They ended up having to change again.
This time, while they were changing, they decided that wrapping a towel around their necks and wearing underwear outside of their jeans made them superheroes. They superhero-ed themselves all the way to the muddy garden and so, within minutes, they were back in the closet rummaging for a change of clothes.
That was only before lunch.
As I thought about what to say in order to discourage the kids from changing so frequently, and trying to figure out what and how to say it, I realized a very difficult decision. Not only might I curtail their creativity and sense of free play, but I’m also sending them conflicting messages. What exactly did I want anyway?
Am I saying it’s OK to be dirty and accepting of dirt under specified circumstances, but it’s NOT OK to wipe your boogers on your sleeves? Or that it’s NOT OK to skip bathing more than two nights in a row, but OK to wear dirty clothes on the weekends and after coming home on the weekdays? I’m confusing myself.
Just a year ago, I was begging the Universe to please teach my little rascals to dress themselves so I can brush my teeth at home instead of in the car on the way to work. Now that my prayers have been answered, what do I do?
So as with all things difficult to accept, I worked really hard to change my perspective. When I’m running to the washer in the middle of the night, I pretended laundry was just a byproduct of my children’s creative development. Rather than being tempted to reduce the kids’ wardrobe to 7 total outfits, I imagined the fat cells in my arms disappearing as I lift load after load up the stairs. Rather than quashing the thrills of childhood, I bit my tongue and pretended to be Super Girl for 10 minutes with Superman and Batman.
After all, I should be thankful that they know how to dress and undress themselves at all. They could be wearing their underwear on their heads, right?
Oh wait, they have done that…
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