Cover Story

Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day.

That’s how relationship and personal growth expert Dr. Barbara De Angelis describes marriage: a union that must be nurtured through constant tending.

Easier said than done…especially if you’re a parent.

For many of us, finding that special someone began so innocently — easy-breezy laughter and silliness, long talks and longer walks, holding hands and candlelit dinners. Love comes easily and follows a natural progression in our daydreams: a fabulous wedding, an enviable marriage, perfect children, and growing old together rocking on the porch. But for so many in this country, those picket fence images all too often fade into divorce. The estimate for first marriages ending in divorce currently sits between 40% and 50%. Divorce happens for myriad reasons, but for a lot of couples the unexpected stress of having children is a big one.

If anyone should have noticed her daughter had a learning disorder, Liz Green figured it would have been her. As a kindergarten teacher, she had been specifically trained to spot learning difficulties. But since her daughter, Hayleigh, was an excellent student and an enthusiastic reader, the subtle clues went unnoticed.

“Each night we read, Hayleigh made more and more substitution errors,” she says. “She read ‘rampant’ for ‘repellant’ and ‘habitat’ for ‘hatchery’.”

It didn’t make any sense. Ms. Green asked her daughter’s teachers about the errors, but nobody seemed particularly concerned. Until second grade.

Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day.

That’s how relationship and personal growth expert Dr. Barbara De Angelis describes marriage: a union that must be nurtured through constant tending.

Easier said than done…especially if you’re a parent.

For many of us, finding that special someone began so innocently — easy-breezy laughter and silliness, long talks and longer walks, holding hands and candlelit dinners. Love comes easily and follows a natural progression in our daydreams: a fabulous wedding, an enviable marriage, perfect children, and growing old together rocking on the porch. But for so many in this country, those picket fence images all too often fade into divorce. The estimate for first marriages ending in divorce currently sits between 40% and 50%. Divorce happens for myriad reasons, but for a lot of couples the unexpected stress of having children is a big one.