January 2010

The True Meaning of PMS

Submitted by Briefcase Mommy on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 23:02

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by Julie Chen Allen

To me, PMS actually stands for polychronic-mother-syndrome. It is a hybrid between obsessive-compulsive disorder and pure genius. It is a modus operandi for working mothers like me who are trying to juggle full-time parenthood, marriage, professional advancement, community service, and personal growth. (And might I add, all of this without feeling like I have the traditional kind of “PMS!”)

What I learned recently at a mediation conference helped me understand a lot about my home life. The polychronic-monochronic concept was first developed by Edward Hall in 1959 in his anthropological studies of time use in different cultures. Polychronicity describes people who prefer to (or simply can) work on multiple activities at one time. In contrast, monochronicity describes people who prefer to do one thing at a time. It’s no surprise I am the polychronic one in the marriage. Although, I would not say that I prefer polychronicity. Polychronicity preferred me once I became a working mom.

Listen like a man, or was that like a woman?

Submitted by Briefcase Mommy on Tue, 01/19/2010 - 22:34

Posted in

by Julie Chen Allen

I am guilty of being a selective listener at times. My husband might add that’s a lot more times than he can stand. He says sometimes I listen like a man – which I think is a compliment of sorts since, as an attorney, I work mostly amongst men. (Must mean I am fitting in at work.) But, for an attorney who is constantly listening to the needs of my clients, I could not believe I was on trial at home for being a poor listener myself. Selfishly I rushed to my own defense.

Like the one in Steve Biddulph’s book, Raising Boys, where “selective hearing” was explained by the slower development of auditory canals in boys in contrast with those in girls. This physical process, thus, literally obstructs a boy’s ability to hear very well. I find that theory especially persuasive during bedtimes. When my kids can’t hear me (“It’s bedtime!”) I prefer to think they were just busy, er, developing. I actually think it is a lifelong kind of developmental process. When I “listen like a man,” my ear canals must be aging and changing – like sagging boobs.