Parent:Wise Austin - My Life As A Parent

Cut Costs This Year, Starting with the Tooth Fairy

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 19:02:55 +0000

By:

Lela Davidson

If you’re stinging from the pain of ‘this economy’ or suffering nasty paper cuts from your post-holiday credit card statements, consider cutting back on child-related costs this year.

About:

Lela Davidson has negotiated a strict one-dollar rule with the Tooth Fairy and that’s that. Her work has appeared in Parent:Wise before, but for more observations, opinions, and personal pet peeves, visit www.afterthebubbly.com.

My Rant/Open Letter to the Daylight Savings Guy

Admin — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 04:38:55 +0000

By:

Janet Frongillo

Dear Man Who Invented Daylight Savings,

Holy Teen Slackers

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 03:10:47 +0000

By:

Michele Ranard

Do you think Mary had to nag teen Jesus to the point of psychotic break just to get him to hang his wet towel on the bathroom hook installed by Joseph?

About:

Michele Ranard has a husband, two children, a master’s in counseling and a blog at http://mommyfails.com .

Parlez Vous Teen?

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 20:16:48 +0000

By:

Michele Ranard

I live with teenagers. Which means I speak a second language.

The other morning at breakfast, the 15-year old mentioned sorrowfully he may have “tossed a fork.” Because I have grown so accustomed to feeling clueless for what my kids and their friends are talking about (“Dude, that song is way sicker with that stupid hotness yo!”), I assumed “tossed a fork” was new lingo for “blew chunks.”

Turns out my son had literally thrown a piece of cutlery in the trash on accident.

About:

Because Michele Ranard is paranoid, she still agonizes that ‘tossed a fork’ is secret code for…something. She is a professional counselor, tutor, and freelancer with a cheeky blog at www.cheekychicmama.blogspot.com.

All Hail the Room Mom!

Admin — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 14:02:06 +0000

By:

Wendi Aarons

Well, people, it’s finally happened. After 10 years of screaming “no f*#@ing way!” and crouching in bathroom stalls like a toothless hillbilly on the run from Walmart security, I’ve been caught.

About:

Wendi Aarons is an award-winning humorist whose work has appeared many times in Parent:Wise. We think she’s a hoot (and yeah, she’ll make an awesome room mom no matter what she says). Check out her hilarious blog at http://wendiaarons.com.

Can we talk about school supplies for a sec?

Admin — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 14:25:14 +0000

By:

Janet Frongillo

Things have changed since my mom sent me off to school decked in bad plaid, schlepping a generic bookbag and a brown sack with a warm tuna sandwich. Mmm, ecoli! It's what's for lunch. (I don't mean to be all braggy, but my immune system rules.) There were no cutesy Pottery Barn backpacks, L.L. Bean insulated reusable sandwich bags, and fancy freezer packs to be found. Only the strong survived.

About:

Janet Frongillo did such a great job with the supplies that the school nurse asked her to help check kids’ heads for lice. (That is not a joke—it really happened!) We sincerely hope that will result in another My Life as a Parent. She blogs at www.MuffinTopMommy.com

WHEN PUBERTY MEETS MENOPAUSE: The Hair Edition

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 14:15:19 +0000

By:

Michele Ranard

Last week I chatted with our 17-year old son, whom we’ll call Deathmetal, and his friend C-Squirrel in the kitchen after school.

About:

Michele Ranard loves her crazycool teens. She is a freelancer with a blog at www.mommyfails.com.

The Cookie Junkie

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 17:28:02 +0000

By:

Wendi Aarons

Every winter it’s the same story. There I am, just sitting on the couch watching TV and wondering why Jay Mohr still has a career, when the doorbell rings. And on the other side of the door awaits….Evil.

“Hi, Mrs. Aarons!”

“Oh, crap. It’s you again.”

“How are you today?”

“I’m fine.”

“Great! I just wanted to know if you’d like to…”

“No. I don’t. Thank you. Good-bye.”

The Secret Life of Mrs. Clean A Thanksgiving Tale

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 01:46:33 +0000

By:

Michele Ranard

Two years have passed since I cleaned the inside of my refrigerator. I am not lazy. I just think perhaps I’ve earned the maternal right to a certain measure of filth.

Like the basement.

About:

Michele Ranard secretly smiles when her guests call her Mrs. Clean. She does love a tidy nest, even if that doesn't happen everyday. She is the mother of teenagers, a professional counselor, and a freelance writer with a funny blog @ micheleranard.blogspot.com.

My Life as a Parent: Darwin Never Met My Daughter

Kim Pleticha — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 02:10:17 +0000

By:

Perry P. Perkins

Often, as a young man, I would spend hours arguing with my friends over creationism versus evolution. This is because I had a deep understanding of nature and science, and a thirst to share that knowledge. Or possibly because I didn’t have a girlfriend.

If only I had known that instead of spending all those hours reading and studying to form an argument I could have just had a child.

Having now spent countless hours in exhaustive research (by which I mean the ten minutes immediately preceding the writing of this article, once Jeopardy was over) I have discovered that there is no way that the human race could have possibly survived the natural selection process.

About:

Novelist, blogger, and award winning travel writer, Perry P. Perkins is a stay-at-home dad who lives with his wife Victoria and their two-year-old daughter, Grace, in the Pacific Northwest. In addition to becoming somewhat of a regular here at Parent:Wise, his work also has appeared in numerous magazines and twelve Chicken Soup anthologies.