Parent:Wise Austin - Essay

Essay: Life of the Party

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 17:31:33 +0000

By:

Cynthia Hawkins

All right, I admit it. I was that kid who kept a rubber-worm fishing lure as a pet, set traps for aliens forged from empty TicTac boxes, wrote sci-fi stories I tried to sell door to door for a quarter, and invited to my birthday parties one special friend … of my mother’s choosing. About a week before, I’d find Mom quietly chirping into the phone with her Sunday-school rolodex flipped back on her lap. I’m sure she was saying something like, “I just thought it’d be nice to get our two shy girls together sometime,” because my birthday attendee would always turn out to be “that kid” too – with a variation. Maybe she had a collection of rainbow suspenders or a habit of laughing with her mouth closed. Sheet cakes and streamers and That Kid who refused to take off the H.R. Puffinstuff costume – ah the memories.

About:

A freelance writer from San Antonio, Cynthia spends most of her time mastering "Ring of Fire" on toy xylophone and reading A Series of Unfortunate Events in her best Marlon Brando with her two daughters, ages 8 and 1. For more information, visit http://cynthiahawkins.net or follow http://twitter.com/CynthiaDHawkins.

I'm With Cupid

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:21:23 +0000

By:

Joel Schwartzberg

What holiday is less connected to its historical roots than Valentine’s Day? Jesus gets a strong shout-out on his birthday. President’s Day may be the perfect occasion for an underwear sale, but at least Washington’s face graces the newspaper ads. Even Punxsutawney Phil got a movie deal. But where is St. Valentine?

Weeks before February 14, local stores celebrate enthusiastically with cheap jewelry, heart-shaped placemats, heart-themed pajamas, and enough chocolate to keep dentists busy through 2020 – yet Valentine himself is treated more like Voldemort.

About:

Joel Schwartzberg’s essays have appeared in Parent:Wise before; now, he’s gone big-time with the publication of his new book, The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a Divroced Dad.

Ignorance is Not Bliss

Admin — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 04:32:25 +0000

By:

Gina Faubion

Breast cancer wasn’t supposed to happen to me.

About:

Gina Faubion is an Austin mother of three. She will be at this year’s Race for the Cure on Nov. 13 in downtown Austin. She —and all of us here at Parent:Wise— hope that you will join us!

Let Them Eat Cake

Admin — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 21:36:01 +0000

By:

Lela Davidson

Apparently Marie Antoinette never even said it, but I will. I’m talking birthday parties. Forego the fancy and just let them eat cake.

When my daughter was three, she went to a party at a gymnastics studio—one of those event parties that serve the dual purposes of placating the spoiled rottens for two hours AND showing off the family resources. Hooray.

About:

In addition writing humor columns and essays for Parent:Wise, Lela Davidson is the author of the forthcoming How I Got Blacklisted from the PTA (to be published by Jupiter Press in July), Managing Editor of ParentingSquad.com and parenting columnist for HubPages.com.

Mama, The Triathlete

Kim Pleticha — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 17:42:16 +0000

By:

Wendi Aarons

So. A triathlon. Otherwise known as “the day I almost went gently into the light while wearing a bike helmet and a discount sports bra.” It was no bueno, people. No bueno at all.

About:

Wendi Aarons is an award-winning humorist whose articles appear often in Parent:Wise, and all the time online at wendiaarons.com. She and her family live in Austin.

Walking in the Shadow of Death

Kim Pleticha — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 17:24:32 +0000

By:

Angela Patterson

She was getting old. We knew it would happen sooner rather than later, but still we weren’t prepared for the end to come when it did.

About:

Angela Patterson and her family live in Austin. When she’s not parenting or analyzing data for her day job, she’s writing, volunteering, helping other breast cancer survivors, or reading fun books like Data Analysis Using SQL and Excel. Recently she lobbied in Washington for the Environmental Conservation Act of 2010. Visit her online at angelathepinktiger.blogspot.com.

Baby’s First Steps

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:55:21 +0000

By:

Alice Held

“I've had a baby!" my mother exclaimed happily, following the judge's adoption pronouncement on Friday, February 6, 2009 that formally made me her daughter.

About:

Alice Held placed out of foster care in 1990 at the age of 18 and went on to earn a business degree from Texas Tech University in 1997. She currently lives in Austin, where she is employed as a software developer. As a firsthand recipient of their generous public service, Alice ardently supports The Adoption Coalition of Texas and its member, Marywood Children and Family Services.

Back-to-School Night

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 02:04:52 +0000

By:

Joel Schwartzberg

“Welcome, parents.”

The pretty teacher smiled as she introduced herself and the rest of the third grade staff on Back-to-School Night.

About:

Joel Schwartzberg is an award-winning essayist and author of The 40-Year-Old Version, information for which can be found at http://bookfordad.com

Chubby Mom

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 18:46:49 +0000

By:

Susana Fletcher

I wanted to be a chubby mom.

I wanted doughy arms and big bosoms and a comfortable lap to sit in.

I wanted my little nuggets to be enveloped in the soft cushion of my embrace as I squeezed them to my to my heart’s content.

These somewhat crazy aspirations were a lot easier to have when I was comfortably tucked into single-digit jeans. Yes, I’m talking about high school. It was cute then, to think of the perfect world of motherhood, of sweet little cherub children staring up at me with their big doe eyes and listening to my syrupy lullabies as I rocked them to sleep in my loaf-of-bread arms.

About:

When she's not writing, Susana Fletcher can be found eating cookies in the car on her way to the gym. She and her family live in Austin.

Oh to be Eight Again

Brian J. Stankiewicz — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 20:11:49 +0000

By:

Monica Wilcox

Oh to be eight again…

To march from room to room clapping my hands under each raised leg.

To go a weekend without brushing my hair.

About:

Monica Wilcox is a mother and a freelance writer who is soaking up her second childhood! She and her family live in Austin and online at www.femmetales.com.